David
Rabiner, Ph.D. Senior Research
Scientist, Duke University
| A common question and concern that parents often
have is whether and how to explain Now, as far as what to say... First, a caveat. I do not know
your child and thus can not For grade school childwith ADHD/ADD, I would say something
like the following: (What follows is much more of a monologue than
would generally occur and it is always important to give the child
plenty of opportunity to ask questions.) "You know, kids your age differ in lots of ways. Some
are short and some are tall. Kids
can also differ in how energetic they are and in how their mind works.
Some
Sometimes kids with so much energy and so many different ideas need
some help Now, your doctor and I think it makes sense to see whether some medicine can make these things easier for you. That way, you will be able to use all your energy and ideas to get the things done that you need to and to make good choices about your behavior and the things you do. The medicine should make it easier for you to do these things, but we'll also need you to keep trying really hard as well. Now, there are several different medicines that kids can take to help with this. Not every medicine works for every child and we may have to try a few different ones to try and find one that is best for you. If we stick with it, though, there is a very good chance that we will find a medicine that can help with some of the challenges you have been having at school." (Note: This assumes that the child is aware of the difficulty they have been having and that this has be discussed with them. Presumably, this would be the rational given for why they were seeing the doctor in the first place.) A few other things to mention. First, as hopefully comes through above, I try to convey to the child that the medicine is not a "magic pill" and that the child has to also try to follow rules and make good choices. After all, if medication works, all it does is to help the child have more control over his or her behavior, but how the child chooses to exercise that control is still up to them. A child can make thoughtful decisions about not to comply just as easily as impulsive ones. What you want to convey is a sense that the child is responsible for his or her behavior and that if they do better it is just as much because of their efforts as the medication alone. One other thing. I would be careful about presenting medication as something being tried to help a child "stop fighting." You don't want to convey a sense that aggressive behavior is something that is outside of a child's control because this can make it more difficult to hold them accountable for their actions. Instead, I would say that the medicine may make it easier for them to stop and think about what they are doing, so that they will be able to make better choices about how they behave. This is a subtle difference, but I think it is an important one. Anyway, I hope this is helpful and that you will be able take from the above what seems to fit for your child. Let me also mention that a number of good books have been written on this topic. You can find them at the A.D.D. Warehouse site. New Research on ADHD/ADD - If you are interested in keeping up with new research on ADHD/ADD, please enter your email address below to sign up for a free subscription to Attention Research Update, a newsletter I write that helps over 35,000 subscribers keep up with the latest ADHD/ADD research. Rest assured that your address will not be sold or redistributed to anyone and you can easily unsubscribe whenever you decide the newsletter is not meeting your needs. If you'd like to learn more about Attention Research Update before subscribing, click here. | |